Living together pre-wedding vows

My favorite thing that I hear from people since my Fiancé and I have been living together since before being engaged or married is “You’re basically already married because you live together.”

I love hearing this, let me tell you why.

The idea that people base marriage and the joys of marriage around living with the person is probably the most naive and stupid thing I have ever heard. I’m not trying to be mean, I’m sure hundreds maybe even thousands of people don’t agree with me but honestly let’s think about this. You married someone… to live with them?

To share bills? Possibly, to move out of your parents’ house and have your own place? That’s probably the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.

The fact that people connect the two is astonishing to me. Yes, I lived with him before we were even engaged and guess what it meant for me. It meant I know I don’t hate the way he snores, it meant that I don’t mind him being around me most of the time we’re home in our one bedroom apartment. It meant that I knew that through some hardships so far I never once wanted him to sleep on the couch.


It meant that when he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him I had no doubts.

People say that now nothing changes, now were engaged but it’s just like before. That soon we will be married but it will be just like before. Those people have never actually been in love.

From one moment to the next when he proposed everything changed. We went from talking about marriage to the real deal and the best part is we did it confidently.

I am marrying him because I love him and I take him with the good, and the bad.

Some people believe in waiting till after marriage to live together due to religious beliefs and that’s probably the only reason I can ever take seriously because I believe everyone is entitled to their own but to say nothing changes? Those people don’t understand love.

Yes we experienced getting our first place prior to the wedding… It was still our first place together.

Marriage is about love, it’s about commitment and the agreement between two people who love each other to work together to have a life together for the rest of their lives. It isn’t about an address change. So yea we lived together first, yes we were living together when he proposed, and yes we will have probably been living together for over two years when we get married.

Guess what…

You bet that shit’s going to be different anyone who says otherwise… Said their vows for the wrong reasons because anyone who connects their marriage to the change of their address, shouldn’t have said I do.

I get that there’s no trial to marriage because it changes everyday, it’s hard work everyday. The fact that I’m not even married yet and I know that and some married people out there dont is frightening but at least I know I made the choices that worked for me and my relationship. I am more confident in my choice of a life partner for it and to anyone who disagrees well… I just don’t care.

Leave a Reply