I posted this a while back and removed it because of reasons I’ll keep out but I think it was a great post so I hope you enjoy it because I’m putting it back up. A blog is for you to express yourself and if you don’t like it then, don’t read it.
Saturday is my 22nd birthday and let me tell you I am both excited and terrified for my Taylor Swift year. Turning 21 was great because legally you can drink and you no longer need to get your friends to slip you a sip or pregame but it’s almost like you’re allowed that year for miscellaneous fun because you’re only 21. It’s okay if you got plastered on Friday night or if you’re not taking relationships seriously. It’s okay to go out till 5am on Wednesday night to wake up at 7:30am for work. Being 21 is like a free pass at doing some stupid shit because you just turned 21 so why not enjoy it.
In my year as a 21 year old I moved from a part time after care/summer camp counselor to a full time Law Firm Receptionist, then promoted to full time handling New and Closed Lawsuits for the entire firm. I started UM’s Paralegal program to further my career. I started saving and planning to move out of my parents’ house after I turned 22 and I began to build friendships with people who took me outside of my comfort zone. That’s pretty responsible for a 21 year old right? Don’t be fooled.
I also went skydiving. I went camping, and went in one of Florida’s natural springs at 2 in the morning while hiding from park security, only to then make friends with them–so cold just a side note. I was going out till 5 am and then showing up to take care of kids at 7 am. I went to a strip club way past the social acceptable amount of times that anyone should ever go to a strip club in their life time. I stopped going for my bachelors for the time being so I can get my paralegal certificate. I have not actually saved remotely enough money to move out after turning 22. I make more money so I spend more money. I have postponed responsibilities and even paid my phone bill late once or twice.
But most of that isn’t too bad and realistically I’m probably not that far off course but I feel like it’s all unacceptable after I turn 22. I feel like that’s it, as of Saturday I’m no longer allowed childish acts of spontaneous mistakes and like I need to find my footing enough to maybe actually call myself an adult. At the same time I have only begun to taste my 20’s and I feel like maybe a few more crazy things are allowed on my part.
Maybe some wants and needs in life are changing, sure but that doesn’t mean the craving for adventure has to go anywhere. Who wants to live life planning and never living? I want to do girls trips to California and jet off to Vegas. I want to buy myself a really nice pair of Louboton shoes and a bottle of Chanel No. 5 I want to finish the novel I started four years ago and maybe even dare to get it published.
Maybe I’m terrified, absolutely terrified to be over 25 and have nothing to show for my after high school years. No real success, no real achievements, I refuse to be that person. I refuse to have just settled for the kind of life that everyone else takes with a grain of salt because we’re told it’s what we should do and just call it a day. I want to love working, I want to love waking up every morning. I want to love everything about my life and I think taking some of those risk will help me get there.
Planning is great, having a stable future it great, but taking risk makes you understand yourself and what you want so much more than your 401k ever can.