So it’s fifteen minutes in and I’ve already started drinking. Kind of wish he was here but also kind of happy he isn’t. Spending time with him makes me happy but knowing that you’re just there to fill his void when he’s lonely and nothing more… Depressing. So maybe it’s best he wasn’t invited. My best friends uncle just handed me another drink and I keep acting like I’m not thinking about the two men in my life that I want and can’t have.
Correction I only actually want one, the other is someone I’m slowly finding enormous amounts of flaws in, which is good because I can’t have him. But I’m just trying to find a way to make those flaws deal breakers.
I saw my ex about a week back and I miss him. I miss absolutely everything about him, he was everything I ever wanted. He’s the one I still want. Like let’s talk about Carrie Bradshaw and Mr. Big on the wedding day ready. Yours truly though being who I am, I was Mr. Big bailing in the limo and he was Carrie throwing flowers at my face. So you see where the whole one that got away thing works there.
Then we have that guy who was actively in my life telling me how great I was just not great enough clearly. He’s still actively in my life and honestly it’s not like I’m holding on to him but I keep spending time with him because I’m an idiot.
Kamikaze Time!! And another one.
Anyways being around him makes me happy, until he starts talking about other girls, or how great this girl is or how much that one has played him. Then I kind of wish I was currently stabbing my ears with his pocket knife or that I didn’t see him that would be easier.
Thinking about people when you’re drunk sucks. And my best friend who’s like my brother is next to me singing some off key terrible version of god knows what song.
So annoying, but I love him.
Family though. These two guys are whaling around the dance floor right now. Seriously if you guys could see this, oh my god one just got on the others back. This is so funny. He looks like he’s spazzing while having a piggy back ride. It’s ridiculous. Who even dances like that? Acohol man, it gets you.
Okay so have you ever seen a girl who’s absolutely gorgeous and her boyfriend is a negative 5. I mean he must have an amazing personality and I get you its what’s on the inside that counts but my lord I must have a great chance with Channing Tatum and never knew it.
California I’m coming for ya. Channing be ready baby. *winks seductively*
Anything is clearly possible. Like someone always being in a terrible mood. How on earth is someone always upset. Seriously always upset. It must be exhausting to just hate everything and everyone around you and so incredibly lonely. I’m just in shock how you could not find anything in life to make you at least semi happy. People are just so immature you can’t wrap your mind around how someone could be so ridiculously immature.
Oh this bed is so comfortable, I just laid down and the room is spinning. So fast I feel like I’m on some intense version of a merry go round. Like some fucked up version where you need to be like 4’8 to ride. We’ll hope you could follow this drunkin rant about my life. Merry Christmas and happy amaretto sour day. 10 shots. 6 amaretto sours. 2 God knows what’s later… And it’s bed time. Night.
Also someone leave some water and Advil by my bed for the morning… Thanks that would be great